I'm officially catching a cold , tomorrow is my first day of work in ages and all the Paracetamol in the world isn't really helping.I want to listen to some music and dare not to, afraid it would hurt if I break the silance. What exactly:my body, my soul, my memories ..I don't really know and don't intend to find out.

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My orange blossom tea has a bitter taste tonight.I drink it without pleasure, finding comfort in the childhood belief that the more bitter the medicine, the better it is for you. I am tired and aching and somewhat content.My eyes- tired and inexpressive, my skin -not glowing , my always red lips not so red right now. I look ill. People notice this, unlike all other days when I am stuck in limbo smiling and contemplating eternity. I am not lonely tonight, I will curl in my bed with a novel and my tea and know I will get better.I wish I could be that certain about other things in my life.